I Wasn’t Ready to Lose My Best Friend

My face fell when someone at the police department in my mom’s hometown called me late one night to tell me that mom had been in a car accident and she did not make it. I felt so far away from everything then. I had to get myself together and catch a flight to mom’s city immediately to make funeral plans because I’m the only family she had. I felt so out of it as I walked into the store that sells Jewish monuments in New Jersey and picked out a beautiful headstone for her. It took me an hour. The people there were so popular, but this memorial would be permanent and I wanted it to be right. I wanted it to be something mom would approve of. The employees there understood completely and were so incredibly impatient with me.

I have always feared not having either one of my parents. My dad went first years ago thanks to cancer. I don’t have any siblings, and neither my mom or dad have any fall. My grandparents had been gone for a long time so after Dad passed it was just me and Mom. We clung to each other tightly because of that. Now, I felt alone in the world and wasn’t sure where to go from here. Things felt so strange and scary, even though I had been living in another state just fine on my own. I tried to get home as often as possible, though.

My mom last team to visit me. We had such a great time together. She reminded me that she might not always be around, and I thought that was so odd. She told me that I needed to prepare myself. It’s almost like she knew something was coming and she wanted to try to ready me for it. I don’t think anyone else will love and care for me quite as much as she did.